Set Free From Guilt, Healed Of Past Hurts

My husband and I are both 38 years old and have been serving the Lord in various capacities since we were 15.

In the first church we were attending since our youth, we’d experienced a tumultuous crisis when we lost our son four hours after he was born. We subsequently left that church as directed by the Lord.

I had a complete nervous breakdown several years later that lasted three months. We also left the second church and felt a tremendous loss because we truly felt we were a close knit family with several members of the church including the pastor and his family. We were so broken-hearted that we have had a difficult time trusting anyone who ministered the Word.

We haven't been inside a church for several years. However, we have never stopped worshipping the Lord, praying and studying His Word in our own home. We know it's necessary to meet and worship the Lord in a church but we've been so afraid that we would be hurt again. At the same time, we were very guilty because we knew we had a calling over our lives. We felt like we were disappointing God because we were not walking in the calling that God had given us.

Towards the end of 2010, my husband bought the book, Destined To Reign, by Joseph Prince. At that time, we really didn't know who Joseph Prince was, even though we had heard several friends mentioning him from time to time over the years. My husband was so in awe at his teaching of grace. Both he and I had heard ministers preach on grace before but this book taught him something completely new.

At first, my husband tried to explain grace as outlined in the book. However, I couldn't understand grace in its totality. In my mind, God had given us grace but if we failed at something like not telling the truth, shouldn't we pay a price? There was several times that my husband and I got into heated discussions on the grace of God Joseph Prince shares about because I was still thinking of the messages I had been taught. I had believed that God wasn't going to bless us because we were not going to church or serving Him in a church ministry.

However, my husband was being set free from those erroneous teachings. He was patient with me and kept insisting that I give the book a chance. I am glad I did. It was a new revelation on grace for me. Many times, when my husband read the chapter out loud for me to hear, I would feel God's presence and love surrounding me. It was during those times that I would cry because God was showing me that those past feelings of inadequacy and guilt that I felt over the years had no merit. He had called me and He had never stopped loving me.

In 2011, my husband received a job promotion but it required us to move about three hours away from our home city. We felt led by God to accept the promotion and we moved. When we moved, we started recording and watching Joseph Prince on TV. Our hearts were forever changed.

I don't think we can fully express what a difference Joseph has made in our lives and we thank God for Pastor Prince. It is through his ministry that we have received healing on so many levels. We have been healed of the past hurts we experienced at the hands of previous ministers. The feeling of inadequacy and believing that God didn't love us anymore is gone. He has never left us nor forsaken us. He is the same yesterday, now and forever.

My husband and I have even been discussing about visiting several churches to see where God wants us to be. That discussion wouldn't have been possible without Joseph Prince. His scriptural teachings have stirred us to trust God to lead us where we need to go.

Pastor Prince, you don't know this, but you have been our "intern" pastor for the past two years. We love you dearly. We are in awe that God would use you, half a world away, to minister to us in Texas. We look forward to hearing you speak in Dallas. We will certainly be there! In the meantime, know that we are praying for you and your ministry.