Restored Relationship With God

I had to write to you and thank you for helping me to restore my belief in God.

My husband and I were trying to conceive our second child and it took me a long time to be pregnant because of some problems along the way. When it finally happened, we were over the moon. We had so many people pray for us and it was the happiest day we had in a long time. However, to our shock, we lost the baby in my eighth week of pregnancy. It was the darkest time of my life and I blamed God because I could not understand why He had given us the hope, only to take it away from us.

I used to pray every night after reading bedtime stories to our three-year-old son but I stopped doing so. Instead, I asked my husband to pray. One evening, my son asked why I was not praying anymore and I could not answer him as I did not want him to deal with my pain. He cried and insisted I must pray and that was the hardest thing to do. My husband held my hand and I prayed with tears rolling down my face. I grew even more resentful toward God. In my head, I thought that He was torturing me and I stopped going to church and went into depression.

A friend of mine bought me your book for my birthday but I didn’t want to read it. For days, I would get this urge to read your book but I never did until I could not ignore it anymore. Wow! Even though you wrote the book, it was as if God was speaking to me Himself. You have opened my mind to so many possibilities in life and I started believing again and seeing that God does not want to bring suffering on any of His children. He would gain nothing by taking my unborn child away from me just to teach me a lesson.

I then started to listen to your sermons on Trinity Broadcasting Network and for the first time in my Christian journey, I enjoyed learning about Christ and started reading my Bible with new eyes. You have awoken the excitement in me to learn more and it’s amazing. In your sermon #277, Grace Flows In Your Weaknesses, you ended off in a prayer and right there in my living room, I broke down and cried for the first time about my loss. I placed my hand on my belly and prayed the prayer of healing with you and I know that God will provide all that I need.

Once, my son was sick and even though we had given him medicine, it was not really helping. I told my husband that I believed that if we laid hands on our boy, he would get better. I told God that I could not yet pray in the language of the Holy Spirit so I would pray in English, and I would let my husband pray in the spirit. We did and praise God, my son slept right through that night without coughing once. He was healthy again the next morning and didn’t even need his medicine. At that moment, I knew that God was there with us. He was showing me that He was there holding me, comforting me and my family, and that He would never let go. And I believe that He will bless us with another child.

You have awoken something inside me that I cannot explain. You have restored my relationship with God. It feels like you have held my hand and led me back to my heavenly Father and for that, I really thank you. My dream is for me and my family to fly out to your church one day and shake your hand. My husband and I now pray together every evening like we did a while ago and I know and believe that we are indeed destined to reign. Thank you!