Free From A Life Of Sin And Condemnation

This is my testimony of how knowing Jesus and His grace has freed me from a life of sin and condemnation.

I was raised by my grandmother because my parents were just 17 years old when I was born and didn’t really know what they were doing. I talk to my mom sometimes and we get along well but it is a weird relationship. I am estranged from my dad and I rarely see him.

I started going to church with my grandmother when I was about 12 years old and was pressured into receiving salvation because my grandmother had suggested that I receive Jesus to avoid going to hell. I read the Bible occasionally but I wasn’t taught to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the truth to me.

Instead, I was taught not to sin and to do what the Lord says in order to avoid His wrath. I went through my teen years full of erroneous teachings about the Lord, and was in bondage over the fear of dying and going to hell.

Consequently, I was always sin-conscious and if I’d sinned, I would beg the Lord to forgive me right away and if I’d gone to bed and forgotten to pray to God for forgiveness, I would say this the next morning: “Lord, thank You so much that You had mercy on me. I’m so sorry for going to bed without asking for Your forgiveness.” This pattern of sinning and confessing my sin was very exhausting.

As I grew older and entered college, I went into a relationship with a guy and ended up getting pregnant and having an abortion. However, he cheated on me subsequently and broke my heart. That broken relationship led to a series of broken and bad relationships.

I started using drugs like marijuana, ecstasy, cocaine and crystal meth. I would ask for forgiveness after every night of partying but I still felt horrible. Eventually, I dropped out of college, continued partying, drinking and taking drugs for five years before quitting cold turkey one day after watching a televangelist. I knew God was calling me.

Still feeling like I had to earn my salvation and God’s love, I went to a church where the mixed message of law and grace was preached. While I served for six years in a ministry and was promoted to a leader, I still had issues. In the end, I gave up my position in the church and left to try to get my life together.

During those six years, I was in three relationships and I started dating a married man. I believed his lies and thought that he loved me and that we would be married one day. Well, it never happened and the four years spent in that relationship gave me so much pain and heartache. We finally ended the relationship on 30 December, but I was devastated.

I cried out to the Lord in my pain and asked Him to take the pain away. I also told the Lord that there has to be more than this to the Christian life. I know I haven’t been the best representative for Him but I wanted to be. I cried out to Him, “I want You, Lord, and more than that, I need You! I cannot go on like this!”

Now, just a few weeks prior to this outburst, I’d read your Meditate & Believe Right devotional on Hebrews 8:12 and I was set free by learning that all my sins and any that I would ever commit are forgiven. I’ve heard that message before but it just never clicked with me until that day.

So on the night of December 31, just a few hours shy of 12am, I pulled out a notepad and wrote a farewell to 2012, bidding goodbye to all the pain and tears, all the bad relationships, a broken heart, the poverty, the lack, and everything else that I didn’t want in my life. It was a declaration from my heart and little did I know that God had heard my cry.

On the morning of 1 January, I felt new. I mean brand new. I had always listened to and downloaded your sermons on my iPod but that morning, the message of grace was all that I wanted! I didn’t care about my past failed relationships anymore because I had gained a pure relationship with Jesus—one where I was not bound by sin-consciousness. Hallelujah!

When I was in sin, I used to be one of those who was afraid that grace would make me take the Lord’s goodness lightly and go sin some more. However, after hearing the right teachings on Jesus and His grace, I have no urge to do that. Oh yes, the devil tries to run thoughts of the past through my mind but I always confess, “I am righteous by faith” just like you’ve taught, to shake those bad thoughts off.

I now spend my break time at work reading Destined To Reign and let me tell you, I cannot put it down. I am almost finished with the book and I am going to study the book in depth again. Now, I read my Bible not feeling that I owe it to God but I read it because I want more of Jesus. I fear the Lord but now it is a reverential fear. I’m no longer scared that He is out to get me if I fail.

Pastor Prince, thank you so much for allowing God to use you mightily in these last days to proclaim the message of grace! Your teachings on the beauty, loveliness and grace of Jesus have set me free from a life of sin and condemnation.

I am now so in love with Jesus and filled with so much joy and peace that I never want this feeling to fade away. Hallelujah! I cannot wait to give you more praise reports on the goodness of the Lord!