Set Free from Painful Past, Experiencing Restoration
I had been raised by a cruel and abusive father who was mentally unsound and incredibly legalistic. I spent my childhood fearing him and struggled desperately to be loved. By the time I was a teenager, my self-esteem was incredibly low. I thought I was hideously unattractive, stupid, and a burden to anybody I met.
At 18, I moved in with a boy I met in university who eventually became my husband and the father of my children. He was even more abusive than my father and there were occasions I feared for my life. After discovering his excessive infidelity, I ended the 12-year relationship.
I spent the next 10 years in one court case after another trying to protect my children from time with my abusive ex-husband, defending my motherhood, and proving my capabilities to the court. There were about 30 court hearings and innumerable subsequent appointments with experts.
I lost everything including my house and car and sold many belongings to make ends meet. Throughout this period, I strived to be a strong, positive, and loving mother to my babies despite feeling completely powerless, misunderstood, and targeted. My youngest child was autistic and my other children suffered from anxiety.
By the last hearing, I was completely broken. I developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and drenched the bedsheets with sweat every night from nightmares. I found myself crying randomly during the day whether I was at the supermarket or walking the dog. I also developed hematidrosis (a condition that causes excretion of blood through the skin). One of my children also developed the condition in the form of nosebleeds.
On Christmas day following the last hearing, all alone at home, I turned on the television even though I don’t usually watch TV. The Joseph Prince Christmas message Jesus—Your Reason for a Fear-free Life was airing. Although I wasn’t really concentrating on the message, I felt a sense of peace come over me. The next day, I woke up with an urgency to hear the Word. After that, I began to listen to your sermons and podcasts over and over every day.
After a month, I realized I didn’t have nightmares anymore and haven’t had to change my bedsheets as often as I used to. During this time, I didn’t have any crying spells and both my child’s and my issue of blood ended. I also noticed I had grown long, healthy nails for the first time in my life. My hair had become lustrous and healthy and my skin was glowing. People now think I’m half my age!
The biggest miracle happened to my son who had autism. All his psychiatric conditions abated and he became a funny, happy, and intelligent little boy! I was told there was no cure for autism (or PTSD). I had not even prayed for it to be healed. All I did was to keep listening to your messages.
Small attacks would still happen occasionally, but I would meditate on scriptures and verses. I meditated on your teachings about “as Jesus is, so are we in this world” and “the battle is the Lord’s.” Amidst everything, I made my only labor to rest in Jesus. The attacks ended without me having to do anything else! At the forefront of these revelations is the unshakable knowledge that Christ Jesus is my righteousness.
I have also started to pray in tongues daily and talk to Jesus about everything. I have found a Man in Jesus who knows all about me yet loves me just as I am. Even though I still have financial challenges and it hurts to be separated from my children, I have a joy and great sense of peace from the inside-out.
When I think about the last 20 years, my heart does not ache anymore. In fact, I feel completely restored as though those years happened to someone else. The positive changes in my life and my children’s lives are a testimony of the love of Jesus, and I’ve had the pleasure of referring other broken women to your ministry, who likewise have received hope and breakthroughs.
Pastor Prince, your preaching has unleashed breakthroughs and turned darkness into light for me and my family. I will forever be grateful to you.